Forget about pride, envy, gluttony, et al. Over the past three decades, the Seven Deadly Sins have gotten as outmoded as last summer’s beachwear. They have been replaced with an all–embracing pantheon of sins against which the whole gamut of ancient of sins pales into insignificance.
I’ve seen a lot in my two centuries or so, but nothing quite like this. Even so, it has come to my attention that many Christians are still carrying on as though nothing has happened. Thus, in view of the recent Hurricane Irene, I ought to update you on the new theology of sin, and particularly the sins of “negativism” and its cousin, “judgmentalism.”
These two sins regularly raise their heads during disasters. “Negativism” frequently manifests itself in phrases like this: “(Fill in the blank) company is doing its usual lousy job of getting the power back on.”
“Judgementalism” is similar, but subtly different. For example: “The politicians aren’t doing anything about (Fill in the blank) company. They are much more interested in campaign contributions than constituents.”
Both statements might be entirely true, but be warned! In many quarters these days, sins of this type are apparently regarded as much worse than any sins you have hitherto encountered.
Practitioners of “negativism” and “judgmentalism” can end up in a whole heap of trouble. They might even face expulsion from their health clubs.
Indeed, things are so serious, it would probably be useful if I explained this new wave of theological thinking in greater detail.
“Negativism” is, basically, a predilection to be critical about the human race. “Negativism” is frequently committed in sermons, homilies, and parish newsletters, but it can also creep into casual conversations around the dinner table. “Judgmentalism” is probably most accurately described as a predisposition towards “negativism.”
People who have read The Bible recently—admittedly a rapidly shrinking proportion of the population—doubtless realize that churchgoers who subscribe to the new theology need to restructure their attitudes towards “The Good Book” in order to accommodate the newly revised pantheon of sins.
Indeed, if the new theology is correct, it would no longer be proper to regard the The Bible as “the good book.” Even the most casual appraisal of its contents indicates that—in the light of these new sins—it would be more appropriate to call it “The Bad Book.”
I don’t mean to be “speciesist” (another new sin), but read the Bible and you’ll see that God doesn’t have a very high opinion of the human race. Quite the opposite, in fact. He seems to think that humans can be pretty horrible. Indeed, by the end of the third chapter of Genesis, he has kicked Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden—no second chances, no probation before judgment, no pleas in mitigation. Don’t even think about Miranda Rights as far as The Bible is concerned, or the right to a trial before a jury of one’s peers, or time off for good behavior. The Genesis justice system, by the standards of the new theology, is completely antediluvian. (nudge, nudge)
God zaps the entire world except Noah simply because people don’t want to play the game his way. And, what’s more, things don’t get any better after the flood.
The Ten Commandments, for example, are pure “negativism.” All but two of them are “thou shalt nots.” And the two “thou shalts” require people to honor their parents and keep the Sabbath day holy—which, as the new theologians would point out, is not only no fun at all, but there’s not a pretense of democracy about it.
The New Testament is simply more of the same. Jesus lectures folks about this. Jesus lectures folks about that. Jesus tells folks they don’t understand. He never says how great they are—never gives them a pat on the back.
Look at St. Matthew’s Gospel, chapter 19, verses 16–22—the story of the rich young man who asks Jesus what he must do to have eternal life. Jesus tells him to keep all the Commandments and the young chap says he has done so since childhood—not a bad record, one might think.
But instead of congratulating him on a job well done, Jesus tells him to sell everything he has and to give the proceeds to the poor. From the point of view of the new theology, this is the ultimate put—down.
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