St Stephen’s is a truly special place. As Carolyn and I have transitioned here over the last 9 months, the unique character of the parish forced us to make an unexpected change in our lives. Like many of you, we were always the “givers” in our parish community, but once we got here, we were flooded with hospitality, kindness, and generosity. Suddenly, the shoe was on the other foot, and we were “receivers”.
It seems as if the shift to “receiving” should be a simple and joyous adjustment, and yet, it is not.The grace to receive hospitality is one that I have needed to develop. Honestly, the only way I learned to be comfortable was to understand that by “receiving,” by making myself vulnerable, forsaking my stubborn self-reliance, I was “giving” in return. I was allowing those whose generosity was being offered to be blessed by their hospitality.
Of course, that humility is reflected in the way we come to the altar. We make ourselves vulnerable, we acknowledge our limitations and sin, and we offer them to Our Lord. Though we could never repay Him for His love, and the love that extended to offering His only Son that we might have life, we please him when we humbly and appreciatively accept His gifts, especially the gift of grace and life that are offered in the Eucharist. Truly, learning to be “receivers” of the hospitality of our parish is a lesson for us that has deep spiritual value.
I mention all this, because I see in many of the parishioners of St Stephen’s, a similar hesitancy to receive. I hear from Carolyn, or from one of you, that a parishioner has been sick, has been dealing with a family crisis, or even mourning the passing of a loved one, and yet, the community, parish life, even the clergy were not informed.
No one understands the discomfort that comes from making oneself vulnerable by sharing a need, and facing the onslaught of kindness that is St Stephen’s character, better than I do. Yet, we do ourselves harm when by pride and self reliance, we deny the community the opportunity to be graceful, to imitate Christ, to reach out and comfort us in our needs, even when we think those needs aren’t deserving of the attention that awaits. Being in community, in a parish, requires that we allow the community to be blessed by sharing our burdens.
Honestly, as awkward as we can imagine receiving a meal, or a prayer, or a kind visit when we are unprepared for company might be, the reality is that the tangible fruit of a loving community does provide comfort. We are not meant to suffer alone and in silence, we are meant to carry each burden with joy and love. In the end, it may be that the willingness to be vulnerable and ask for help is the example that will allow one of our parish family members to do the same, and allow us to be the their comfort, grace and hospitality.
Please, let parish life, the clergy, even your pew mate know when you or the people you love are hurt or hurting.. Bless us all by letting us share and ease your burden. MK✠
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