It’s nice to be noble;
 be a patron of our fête!

May Day! May Day! May Day! It’s almost upon us. There are just three weeks to the St Stephen’s Annual Garden Party and Fête. This means time is running out for you to join the ranks of the nobility by signing up as one of our noble patrons.

Prime Minister Lloyd George felt free to sell patents of nobility to special friends and acquaintances, and so do we. Patrons may choose from four ranks of nobility:

  • ❧ Imperial Crown – $100
  • ❧ House of Windsor – $75
  • ❧ House of York – $50
  • ❧ House of Lancaster – $25

Garden Party maypole

Dancing the Maypole at St Stephen’s British Garden Party and Fête

What are the benefits of patronage? Aside from the undying gratitude of all the yeomen, serfs, villeins, and cotters in the parish, our noble patrons will receive a free hot dog, a beverage of their choice, and a prominent mention in our profusely illustrated programme.

Why not sign up? The Garter King of Arms awaits …

But don’t stop there. Please attend the Parish Life Committee meeting on Tuesday, 19 April—the last meeting before the big event—to help us finalise our plans.

There are all sorts of things we need to help make the event a success. We are looking for cakes for the Cake Stall. Last year your cakes were so scrumptious, we sold out completely in the first two hours. Please double your efforts. It’s all in a good cause.

Tea Room We also need teacakes and dainties for our Tea Room. We can use all the help we can get to provide mouthwatering teas for our guests.

Card tables and chairs to go with them are also on our wish list. And tea pots, too. Not the George II sterling silver heirloom that you inherited from the Custis side of the family, but the pretty little pot that Aunt Mabel gave you a couple of Christmases ago would do very nicely.

We are also still in the market for superior quality jumble for our White Elephant Stall. This is your opportunity to at last get rid of the zither Uncle Thomas used to twang at family gatherings and the cage that once was home to Cousin Ebenezer’s parrot. Please search your cupboards, attics, cellars, and fallout shelters for saleable treasures.

And we are badly in need of bottles of wine and spirits only for the Bottle Wheel.

Last, but very far from least, please volunteer to help. We need as many folks as possible both for set up on Friday, 6 May, and on Party Day, Saturday, 7 May. The Parish Life Committee

1 comment to It’s nice to be noble;
 be a patron of our fête!

  • The Reverend Peter M. Hawkins.

    The United Kingdom is slow to change, and even now a sizeable donation to the party in power may obtain for you European British Citizenship and a seat in the House of Peers with an appropriate noble title. It is an ancient medieval tradition just as the flying of le drapeau d’Anjou today, Saint George’s Day. Ya maat, we we say in British Breizenhog around here.