Ambition is invariably a dangerous commodity when it comes to the Church. The definition of “a real and present danger” is standing between an Anglican clergyman and a bishop’s mitre. (You’ll get trampled to death in the rush.) Imagine then my horror to discover that Isaac, the lectern eagle, harbors ambitions.
I had always been under the impression that lectern eagles were quite content with their lot in life. After all, it can’t be too arduous—even for a 200-year-old brass eagle—to stooge around in church all day with the Holy Scriptures on his back. Indeed, I’d imagine most birds would consider it an honor.
Not so Isaac. Inside that brazen breast, it seems, is a seething mass of pent–up ambition.
His condition became painfully apparent when St. Stephen’s was searching for a person to administer its new web page: Isaac applied for the job. In fact, he not only applied for the position, but actually landed it.
I can’t pretend to know what the search committee was thinking when Isaac was awarded the job. I can’t possibly imagine what his qualifications are. That’s beyond my pay grade, as President Obama would say.
In any event, whatever qualifications Isaac produced, they seem to have satisfied the members of the search committee—Peter Threadgill, Adric the Organist and Bill Hawkins, our Internet gurus.
Isaac is now installed as our official web site administrator. To mark the occasion, he has opened his own Facebook Page. Frankly, I can’t foresee what sort of rot he’ll be writing on it. And I am not sure I have the courage to learn his views about the world by “friending” him. You’ll have to find out for yourselves.
All I can hope is that you don’t put the same three characters on the search committee when you come to look for a new rector: Who knows what sort of strange bird you’ll end up with? GPH✠
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